The Beauty in Life
by DramaticField
Summary: Everyone is finally settled and life is good. So what happens when Rose wakes up sick one morning? Being touched by spirit means the opportunity to carry on the Belikov/Hathaway name - but, with Declan being hidden from spectators eyes, Rose knows that they have some serious decisions to make to protect themselves, their friends, and their baby. Post TRC.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**/ Set after 'The Ruby Circle' - Spoilers Ahead!**

**_Rose's POV._**

I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock sounding loudly beside me on the bedside table. I suppressed the urge to groan as I reached over and hit snooze for the second time. Usually, it was easy to get up – I loved my job of being Lissa's guardian, but today, I felt exhausted.

With all the commotion going on lately, it was probably to be expected. Before I pulled the covers off me, I felt a set of strong, warm arms wrap around my stomach. "Good Morning Roza," he whispered, his Russian accent tainted with exhaustion as well. Dimitri had worked the night shift – which was really the day shift in the Moroi world, and I was working the day shift this week, so he probably only had about an hour worth of sleep, but he always made sure to see me off in the mornings.

Smiling, I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. "Morning, comrade," I teased. "Go back to sleep."

"Have a good day, I'll see you when you get off."

It was Friday. We were both off for the weekend, and I was excited to spend some time quality alone with him. It seemed that lately we always had opposing shifts or one of us was always away – a Guardian's work was never done.

"I can't wait."

I rolled out of bed and went into the joined bathroom, shutting the door. I hopped in the shower quickly, knowing that I was already short on time thanks to my second snooze. Halfway through washing my hair, I felt a weird, nauseating sensation come over me and I took a deep breath. Unfortunately, the hot steam from the shower didn't do anything to calm the feeling. Quickly, I finished rinsing the shampoo out of my hair before stepping out of the shower, into the slightly cooler bathroom, which my stomach seemed to appreciate. Weird.

Quickly, I dried my hair, tied it up and got dressed in my formal guardian attire before putting my hand on the knob, ready for duty – after slipping on my white-gold diamond engagement ring and smiling at its beauty. Dimitri had done an amazing job picking it out and the thought of marriage, with him, was a welcome one – even though I was continually pushing off picking a date. Wedding's were a lot of work, after all, and we were perfectly fine the way we were right now. Just as I was about to step out of the bathroom, the nauseated feeling hit me again and this time, it threw me to the floor in front of the toilet.

Thankfully, I hadn't eaten anything yet because my stomach refused to settle down. I checked my watch a few minutes later and knew I was going to be late if I didn't get up off the floor. With my stomach reasonably sated, I managed to exit my and Dimitri's room without waking him up. I slipped into the hallway and practically ran to relieve Serena from duty.

"Sorry I got tied up or I would have been here sooner," I said, catching up to them in a small café just outside the royal suites. Lissa was eating breakfast, just having woke up herself.

Serena gave me a curt nod before we did a quick de-brief and traded places.

"You look terrible," Lissa said suddenly as I sat beside her, scoping the area silently.

"Good Morning to you, too," I returned offensively.

Lissa studied me for a moment before sipping her coffee. "Seriously… you sure you're okay?"

"Fine," I said passively. "Eat your breakfast."

"Have you eaten?"

"No, I'm fine-" But as soon as the words were out of my mouth, Lissa had called over a waitress to grab me something to eat. "Seriously," I persisted once the girl left. "I'm fine."

Lissa ignored my comment and moments later, Adrian and Sydney joined us. Eddie trailed behind, in full Guardian mode as well.

"How's marriage?" Lissa asked happily as we made room for two more.

Sydney flushed, but Adrian just grinned. "Better than sex, though, that's good, too." It earned him a smack on the arm from Sydney, but Lissa just rolled her eyes and I laughed it off.

"How's being in charge?" Adrian returned to Lissa, engrossing her in conversation.

I knew that I should open the floor to Sydney for a conversation, but I was still trying to keep my focus on our surroundings and scope everything out so that I didn't miss anything. That, and trying to pacify my stomach, which was still not happy with me.

The waitress came back with my food and I thanked her as she left. Unfortunately, the smell of the eggs and toast wasn't sitting well with my stomach, and I pushed it to the middle of the table, further away from me.

"What's wrong?" Lissa asked, seeing my reluctance to eat. "You must be starving."

"I'm not feeling the best," I admitted. "But it's nothing – just not hungry."

"You're never sick," Lissa pointed out – thanks to my Moroi genes, it wasn't common for us to come down with anything.

"Probably just… I don't know, stress? Exhaustion? It's been hectic around here."

Not our normal hecticness, of course, but with Sydney and Adrian having come to visit with Daniella, Eddie, and Declan, Lissa had been busy with their accommodations and safety while at court – the young boy in particular, considering that he was a dhampir spawn through and through. That, and my and Dimitri's opposite schedules didn't leave a whole lot of free time. When we got home, our moments of passage were usually consumed with us consuming each other – and what little sleep we did get left us guzzling coffee to stay on high alert. It was tiresome work, but it was never done and we both loved and valued our positions too much to begin to question the absurdity that happened around here or complain. We always adapted.

"Do you need some time off?" Lissa asked.

"No! Of course not, I'm fine, seriously…" I was about to argue further when my stomach decided I wasn't pacifying it any further. I gulped back the rising bile in my throat, not wanting to do this here, in public, especially at breakfast. What the hell was wrong with me?

"You're green, little dhampir," Adrian said uneasily. "Are you sure-"

I couldn't answer him, largely because as soon as I choked back the nausea, it came back, ten-fold and I immediately got up from the table, spotting a small trash can by the mini-bar, and grabbed it, before my stomach jolted forward.

"Rose!" Lissa cried, getting up to run over to me.

Guardian's surrounded us, so realistically, I knew that Lissa was safe. A guardian that I had gotten to know very well, Sansa, was there, at Lissa's side in an instant, taking over her guard.

"I think my appetite is spoiled," Adrian said uneasily, staying at the table.

"What's wrong with her?" Sydney asked curiously.

"No idea, Sage."

When my stomach was empty – and the spectacle that I had caused faded, I felt Lissa's hand on my shoulder and I turned, my face apologetic as I faced my charge. "Liss, I'm sorry…"

"What for? For being sick? Don't be silly. You need to go rest. When did this start?"

"Just this morning – maybe I ate something bad."

"Go home and rest," she turned to face the other guardian. "Sansa will stay with me until I call for another guardian, okay?"

"I'll stay with you until one of the other guardians show up."

Lissa had a team of them, of course.

"I'm safe," Lissa laughed. "There's guardian's all around, Rose."

"I promise," Sansa said easily. "I will be here with her until someone from her guard comes. Go rest. Better yet, you may want to check in with medical."

I hesitated, but succumbed to their pleas, mainly because I felt the nausea again and groaned inwardly.

"I'll drop by later," Lissa promised. "To check on you."

I agreed and said a quick apology and goodbye to Adrian and Sydney before I retired back to my room. When I got up there, Dimitri was still asleep – rightly so, and in efforts not to wake him, I turned on the television in the small living area and kept the volume down. I squirmed out of my guardian attire and let my hair down before slipping into pajama pants and a tank-top and threw the blanket over me. I still didn't feel quite right, but as I relaxed, I felt the nausea die down quite a bit and I sipped water through-out the morning to stay hydrated.

Around mid-day, I heard Dimitri get up. He threw on his robe and went into the kitchen, bypassing our living area and doing a double take seeing me there. "Rose? Aren't you supposed to be with Lissa?"

He came into the living area and I held my hands out in defence. "Don't come too close," I warned. "I'm not feeling well."

Dimitri raised a brow, but ignored me warning and came over, sitting beside me as I made room for him. He reached out, letting a finger brush over my cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Lissa sent me home," I sighed. "I woke up and I wasn't feeling well. I got sick after I got out of the shower, but I felt okay, so I went to relieve Serena and ended up… kind of spoiling breakfast."

Dimitri pondered this, brows furrowed, for a long moment. "How are you feeling now?"

"Alright," I admitted. "A little nauseous, but nothing like this morning. Just… tired."

Dimitri kissed my cheek but frowned. "Have you been to medical?"

"No, I figured I just ate something weird."

"I ate the same as you yesterday."

I shrugged, "Maybe it just… didn't sit well with me."

"I've seen you eat everything," he chuckled. "Rest for the weekend."

"No! I can't."

"You need to rest."

"I have to go tomorrow. Lissa's counting on me."

"She will understand."

"No, this isn't up for debate."

Lissa was hosting a small party tomorrow evening to welcome Adrian, Sydney, and Eddie back to court, and I had promised I would help her set up – or well, keep her company while she ordered everyone else what to do. Queen privileges. Dimitri and I were also supposed to attend the party together, off-duty and have some good, normal fun with our friends.

"Fine, we can see how you're feeling in the morning, okay?" He reached over to grasp my hand and kiss it. "Rest. Do you want anything?"

I shook my head and laid back on the couch as he got up, going into the kitchen.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I woke up around dinner time and still felt a little off so I declined the food that Dimitri offered, but the weird part was, when he was eating, I found the smell so nauseating that I had to leave the room to settle my stomach. Lissa popped in for a few minutes later that evening while I was asleep and Dimitri promised her that I would be fine – even though he didn't know why I was sick, either.

The next morning came quickly, and Dimitri kissed my cheek, down to my jawline and to my neck, waking me up. Any other morning, I would have welcomed the intimate gesture and probably insisted that we roll around bed a little longer than time usually allowed, but this morning? I felt sick as soon as my eyes opened. I squirmed away from Dimitri and immediately grabbed the small waste bucket by my side of the bed and urged my stomach to behave.

"You're still not feeling well?" Dimitri asked, clearly alarmed. He was out of bed and by my side in an instant.

"You shouldn't see this," I said finally when my stomach seemed to soothe a little.

He responded with a chuckle, "We've been through death and back, literally. You think you being sick is going to push me away?"

There was humor there, but the way my stomach was clenching made me gag again, killing any Rose-worthy quip. Dimitri pushed my hair back, rubbing my back until finally, I felt okay enough to put the bucket back on the floor, rubbing my face. "Feel better?"

She shook her head, "Not really."

"Let's get you to the infirmary."

"I have to meet Lissa."

"Lissa is fine, Roza," he said softly. "She is perfectly capable, and you need to get better."

"I'm going," I said forcefully before getting out of bed. I got myself cleaned up and re-emerged into our bedroom as Dimitri grabbed some breakfast.

He didn't argue with me but I knew that he hoped I would change my (stubborn) mind - he was worried, I could see it in his face. I sat at the table as he handed me some scrambled eggs. I wore tight, black jeans that were ripped at the knee and a long-sleeved thermal and sick or not, I knew I looked good. "Try to eat."

I nodded and shoved some fork-fulls of egg into my mouth, happy that my stomach seemed to be receptive of them. I finished them quickly and gulped back some orange juice before getting up and kissing Dimitri's cheek as he buttered toast. "Gotta go, comrade-"

"I'm coming with you."

I barely noticed in my haste that he, too, was fully dressed and I knew he was only going to keep an eye on me. "Fine."

He ate his toast quickly before shrugging on his duster and then we both left and went down to the meeting room in silence. I felt a little better, thankfully. Lissa, Adrian, Sydney, Sonya, and Christian were already inside waiting for us, guardians around against the walls.

I joined the group of my friends that were gathered.

"How are you?" Sydney asked softly.

"Fine," I lied. "Just must have been a bug or something."

Dimitri eyed me but, then, the doors opened, and Eddie and Jill walked in. I smiled seeing them approach, hand in hand. Eddie was off duty today, too, and very absorbed in Lissa's half-sister next to him. She was a little older now, and neither made any further efforts to hide their infatuation with one another. Despite her young age, she had been through a lot and had matured very quickly.

"How's it going Castile? You and Jill finally make the leap and decide to shack up? Where will it be? Court or Maine? Half and half?"

Jill's cheeks immediately heated up and Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. "We're not all the love story that you and Belikov are," he teased back.

"You do realize moving in together is as simple as moving furniture, though, right? Not necessarily as binding as a marriage licence."

"You don't know anything about marriage licences, since you keep pushing off applying for one," Lissa teased. "It's time for us to set a date – then we can throw a real royal bash. People will come from everywhere."

Dimitri's expression was composed, and I sighed inwardly. "That's the problem."

When Dimitri looked down at me, I knew he understood entirely – though he hadn't realized that was the only reason that I had been stalling considering I joked with him all the time about our ages and status at court. Engaged or not, people liked to talk – not that it bothered me, exactly, but laying low after everything that happened seemed like the best option right now.

I looked between Lissa and Dimitri and sighed. "You want us to have a big bash, but the more people here, the more of a security risk. Do you think I can let loose and have fun with court doubled in visitors and guardians? It's too risky."

"Rose," Lissa sighed. "I'll be fine-"

"The answer is no," I said firmly. "If you want us to pick a date, I will, but only with the consolation that there won't be a 'big bash'."

"Small and intimate," Eddie smirked. "Doesn't scream Rose Hathaway to me."

"It screams safe," I retorted. "I don't need a big party. Lord knows I've had enough attention the past few years. I just… want simple."

"That rock doesn't look too simple to me, little dhampir," Adrian teased, nodding to the diamond on my hand.

"Well I can't be too boring," I joked.

"You're never boring, Roza, that's for sure," Dimitri grinned.

"Rose is right," Sonya entered the conversation. "Especially if Declan will be involved. The smaller the better."

Lissa sighed, "Fine, small and intimate. We can have it on the court grounds out back. Close friends and family only."

"So… whoever are here right now?" I teased.

"And your parents."

"My mom is probably too busy protecting the world. Plus, my dad is… well, I'm not sure. Probably off somewhere doing something he isn't supposed to."

"He's with your mother," Adrian said firmly.

"What?"

"I ran into him last week here at court, when Sydney and I first got here. He said your mother had some vacation and he was meeting her."

"Vacation?" I exclaimed. "Janine Hathaway taking a _break!? _That's even more shocking then them… what… meeting up?"

"Hooking up, you mean," Eddie laughed.

"Okay, okay, unless you want to start talking about _your_ love life, please leave my parents out of this," I grimaced. "No way…"

"You saw how they were together," Lissa grinned. It occurred to me that Dimitri was holding back a grin, too. "She loves him."

"She loves being a guardian, saves a little for me when it's warranted, and that's it."

"And Abe Mazur," Lissa teased.

"Okay, okay, stop!"

Dimitri laughed, "Your mother is a woman, too, she's-"

"No, enough of this conversation. Gross."

"Didn't you see them together when you came back?"

"Yeah, my dad threatened Dimitri and my mom strongly disapproved but accepted it because she likes Dimitri. Ever since then I've only seen them separately."

"Your mother," a new voice entered. "Is very much in love with Abe. Always was."

"Alberta!" I smiled seeing her enter. "What are you doing here?"

"Extra security for your party. I had some time off and wanted to check in with all of you, so I figured you could use some extra hands here."

Dimitri nodded his welcome, and my brow furrowed. "So… my mom and dad…"

"Were together when they were about your age. For a while."

"So it wasn't some fling?"

Alberta laughed, "Why don't you ask her? She'll be here later, as well. With him."

"Why am I the only one who doesn't know this," I groaned.

"Too busy with your own romantic interludes and protecting the Queen?" Adrian offered.

I groaned and turned my attention to the people running all over the throne room, decorating and completing sound checks.

"So," Alberta said. "Engaged? That's… unsurprising. Congratulations."

Alberta hugged me and Dimitri, "Thank you, Alberta."

Everyone joined in conversation then, and Dimitri kept an eye on me the entire time to ensure that I was okay. Lissa consulted with the decorators, Dimitri and Sonya caught up with Alberta close by on who the newest trouble makers in school were (now that Lissa and I were gone), Adrian and Sydney called to check in on Declan, and I sat on the steps in the room with Eddie and Jill. It was nice to have an easy conversation, but as Lissa called me over, I got up and the motion caused a wave of dizziness to spread over me, further irritating my stomach.

"Rose?" Sonya asked, coming over to grab my arm as I stumbled – Dimitri immediately grabbing the other.

"She's probably dehydrated," Adrian supplied. "She was sick yesterday."

"And this morning," Dimitri added.

Sonya studied her aura and was glad Adrian's ability didn't surpass hers – or was nulled by the medication, because in that moment she knew that she was sitting on some sensitive information – something she had seen days prior, too. "Rose…"

"What's wrong?" I asked, sensing that Sonya knew something – my aura always gave things away to her, including my and Dimitri's romantic interlude on the way home at the hotel that awkward morning.

"Can you wait here for a moment? I'll be right back."

Sonya was in motion before I could move, and I instantly hated being left out.

Everyone went back into their normal conversations and I sat back on the steps again, by Jill, who took my hand. Eddie went over to talk with Christian and Lissa sat on the other side of me, hand rested on my knee, asking me questions about how I felt as I tried to pacify her. Dimitri looked over at me every couple of minutes to ensure I was still alive, and again, his worry was visible. Sonya was gone for about fifteen minutes before she came back. "Can we talk? In private?" Sonya asked.

I hesitated and shared a look between Dimitri and I before nodding. I followed Sonya out into the hallway, and she pulled a small bag out of her purse. "There's a bathroom down the hall."

I opened the bag, looking inside and immediately froze. "Sonya…"

"Just take it and see," she urged. "This is the only real reason you'd be sick and, well, your aura… Just humor me."

Dimitri and I had practiced safe sex ever since finding out about Declan – just to be safe, even though my spirit bond with Lissa was broken and we assumed there was no longer spirit in me. Dimitri knew how much the information of Declan's conception unnerved me, questioning the historic and biologic rules we knew and grew up with our entire lives, and pacified me when I obtained birth control – even though I had gotten a weird look from the doctor in medical. He probably thought I was cheating on Dimitri considering everyone knew we were together and couldn't get pregnant, but I wanted to ensure our bases were covered and condoms were a nuisance – as well as a little impractical considering sometimes our intimacy was… well, less than orthodox. When you had little time, you learned to get creative and Dimitri's creativity never ceased to both surprise and please me.

"I'm not infused with spirit anymore, the bond's broken –"

"You're always infused with spirit, child. Lissa saved your life, it may have broken the bond, but there's still spirit surrounding you – and Dimitri. Have you been safe?"

"Yes. I'm on the pill."

"Religiously?"

"I never miss it!"

"Just take it," Sonya said sweetly. "If you've been safe, it should be negative. I'll be right inside if you need me, okay?"

"Keep Dimitri busy," I said hesitantly before going down the hallway and finding the bathroom, disappearing inside. I locked the door before pulling the small, white stick out of the pink box and gulped, feeling my heart racing a mile a minute. I read the back of the box and took the test before setting it down on the counter, washing my hands, and looking at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes – which I had attributed to sleep deprivation, and I did look paler than usual, but surely, this wasn't the cause, right? I just wasn't feeling well.

I tried to go through everything that I ate – any possibility of what could really be making me sick and finally, once the time was up, I looked back to the stick, and saw two, very prominent, pink lines. I immediately felt sick again, but this time, it was for a different reason. No, no, no, this couldn't be happening…

I sunk down on the wall, sitting against it, knees pulled to my chest, test between my fingertips, staring at those lines. Pregnant. No way. The test was faulty! I wasn't sure how long that I was in here but finally, stunned, I put the test in my pocket and managed to get enough strength up to get off the floor, just as someone knocked on the door.

"Roza? Are you okay?"

Suddenly, through my shock, hearing his voice, I felt a lump rise in my throat and tears sprung to my eyes immediately. "Fine," I said, my voice wavering.

"Can I come in?" I went over and opened the door, letting Dimitri into the small but lavish bathroom. "Are you sick again?" I wasn't sure what to say. Rose Hathaway was speechless, and my confusion and shock must have radiated on my face, because Dimitri reached out and put his hand on my arm. "Rose, what's wrong?"

I couldn't speak. My throat was dry, and I felt warm tears burn my eyes at his concerned tone. I tried to blink them away, but it was useless. Tears fell down my cheeks, alarming Dimitri further – I didn't cry. He was about to ask again when I reached down, into my pocket, producing the small, white stick and handing it to him. There was no witty remark I could currently think of as I could barely consider this reality. As I wiped my cheeks dry, Dimitri holding onto the small stick in wonder, I found my voice.

"Congratulations, comrade," I whispered, "You're going to be father."

**/ I thought this would be a cute little short story! Richelle has already tainted the dhampir/dhampir procreation rule, and of course, we know that it was for Rose and Dimitri in the future, so let's play!  
****  
More to come; reviews appreciated!**

**~ Becca **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Dimitri stared at the small stick for what felt like forever. Realistically, it was probably only minutes, but it may as well have been hours.

"Say something," I said finally.

Finally, he looked up and met my eyes. "Is this for real?"

"Did you just say, 'for real'?"

"Rose-"

"Yes," I choked out. "Sonya… saw my aura and… well, ta-da." My humor was coming through to mask my terror because that was there, too – strong and sickening in my stomach.

Dimitri reached out immediately and pulled me to him, a smile breaking out on his face. "I can't believe it…"

"You and me both."

He kissed my hair, tangling his fingers in it with one hand, his other, pressing me against him tightly as it rested on the small of my back. I buried my face into his chest, arms wrapped around his waist, closing my eyes tightly as more tears spilled out. When he pulled back, our expressions were like night and day. He was smiling – no, beaming, with joy. It was palpable, but I couldn't find it in myself to celebrate. He realized my struggle immediately and frowned, cupping my cheek.

"How can you be happy about this?" My voice was small, and his thumb brushed more tears off my cheek. It was a stupid question – of _course_ he was happy about it. He was 27 – more than ready to start a family and had been tempted by Tasha's offer three years prior to kick-start that process. I remembered being with Tasha and Dimitri in the cabin over Christmas and her mentioning him talking to babies in Russian and how happy the thought had made him look. I remembered my mother telling me what a good opportunity it would have been for him to take her up on her offer and I believed firmly that if I hadn't of been in the picture, he would have. He loved kids and it _had_ been a great offer. Luckily for him, though, I _was_ in the picture and he didn't have to have offspring with the Queen Slayer. Small blessings.

Me? I didn't hate kids, no, but I never pined for them like he had. He had accepted his fate of being forever childless with me the moment we had become official, and he had told me that being with me was worth more than anything else that he could think of, but now, seeing his joy, I knew he had sacrificed a lot back then in being with me. At least until Declan caused us to question everything. It made my heart clench. I knew Declan's conception always piqued his curiosity, but he hadn't pushed the issue of children with me. Marriage was first on his to-do list, I imagined and that was proving difficult enough.

His face turned serious. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"I don't know," I admitted lamely. I was far from a teenager knocked up by someone who would abandon me, but I still felt terrified. There were a million thoughts running through my head. "The implications of this alone… Sydney and Adrian have been hiding Declan's parentage and then we go and…" Dimitri was watching me curiously, trying to gauge my rant, and I sighed. "How did this happen? I've taken my pill on-time every day, Dimitri."

"I don't know, Roza," he said gently, pulling me against his chest again. "I don't know how it happened, but… well, we will figure it out."

"That's easy to say when you won't be one the size of a whale!" I cried, pulling away from him to pace the small bathroom. "We can't hide this. I'm already sick. We're high-profile, not like Olive. I can't just… disappear. I can't leave Lissa unguarded, but I can't protect her like… this," I motioned to my body. Suddenly, my mother came to me, my thoughts jumping all over the place, and I gulped back the growing lump in my throat. She had been faced with this – an impossible decision. Abortion, being labelled a blood whore, or…. "I'm not letting the academy raise it."

Dimitri hesitated, but nodded. "Well one thing is decided already, see how easy that was?"

"You're too practical about this," I argued. "Can you lose the Zen life-lessons for one second and just freak out with me!?"

"You do a good enough job for the both of us," he said, a grin on his lips – one that sparked my anger even more. He saw it, and sighed. "And what would that solve?"

"I don't know, but it would make me feel better," I grumbled.

He chuckled and reached out to take my hand. "A baby, for me, is a blessing. Especially considering it shouldn't have been a possibility for us. A baby with you? That's… beyond words. I love you, we're engaged, and both in our careers. It's far from the worst-case scenario. Back at the academy? That would have been worst case," he said, his tone daring to have a teasing edge.

I rolled my eyes, but a shadow of a smile played on my lips at the thought of our activities in the cabin at St. Vlad's. A baby from that? It would have most definitely have been worst-case. This was laughable in comparison.

"They'll try to experiment on it," I said unhappily, revisiting all of Adrian and Sydney's worries for Declan in my head, unable to stay on one topic of life destruction when there were so many to choose from and validate right now.

"Maybe this is… a little tricky, politically, yeah, but do you think Lissa will let anything happen to you? To our baby?"

He was right, but another thought came to me. "People won't think it's yours," I said suddenly, coming up with another impossibility for this situation. "They'll say I…"

"Who cares?"

"Me! People talk about you… us, enough, I don't want them to think that I wasn't faithful to you."

Dimitri just shrugged, "I know the truth, you know the truth, and our friends know, so what anyone else thinks is irrelevant to me."

"Okay, Mr. Composed," I said strongly. "What do you propose we do?"

"We should go back to the others, ensure them you're okay, and then figure this out back in our room later."

"We have the party tonight. I can't just not show up."

"We have hours until the party," he pointed out, checking his watch. "We can talk, in private, before then."

I looked at him, really wishing I could revel in his composure and joy right now, but still terrified with so many unanswered questions. He sensed it and leaned down, brushing our lips together in a gentle kiss. It calmed my nerves a little, but not nearly enough. "I'm not going to forfeit being a guardian, either," I said suddenly, remembering my words about not giving our baby to the academy. "Or… well…"

"We'll figure it out," he promised, looking into my eyes. "We always do, right?"

"We do," I admitted. "I just… never thought I'd be having a baby at 20." Let alone engaged and potentially getting married soon, if the conversation earlier was any indication of our impending nuptials. Suddenly, they seemed more favourable with a baby on the way. Knocked up at 20 and rushing into a wedding? Only Rose Hathaway could let this happen considering how much I had pushed marriage and parenting away to this point. It was a far cry from our usual life-threatening problems we dealt with daily, but it was terrifying, nonetheless.

"The same age that your mother was when she had you," he pointed out.

"Are you enjoying pointing out, once more, how similar we are, even in our differences?"

He shrugged, "She may be a good resource for you in this, that's all."

"Fuck," I said suddenly, causing Dimitri to look at me, concerned. "We have to tell my mother… and… my…. Shit."

He nodded, his face sobering. Finally! He didn't look like he had just gotten a new puppy to play with. "We can speak with your parents after… well, after we talk about this more. We should speak with Lissa first and have some more… concrete things planned out before presenting this." Telling his family would be a joke in comparison to her parents. Dimitri's mother, grandmother, and sisters would probably be overjoyed – especially Olena. After all, Karolina was only a year old than Dimitri and had two kids already. Yeva probably had already seen this. I was surprised that Dimitri's cell phone wasn't already ringing all the way from Russia. Dimitri's family was nothing but loving. Mine? Love was there, of course, but it was dysfunctional and non-traditional at best.

Lissa was the least of my worries in all of this, surprisingly – minus her safety while I was off with a huge stomach, my feet in stirrups, and pushing a small human out of me. Oh, why did even more terrifying things slip into my thoughts as the seconds ticked by? His words should have been comforting – and they were, to a certain extent, but they didn't negate the difficulty of our future with a baby to be accounted for.

"They're both coming to the party tonight," I murmured, remembering Alberta's words. "I'll see how long they're planning to stay around… My dad is scary, are you sure you want to be there…?"

"Absolutely not," he chuckled. "I'd rather face your mother any day and that thought's scary enough, but I told you, we're in this together. We're a team."

"A team with new names."

"What?"

I shrugged, "We used to be the badass duo now we'll be… well, mom and dad." The thought didn't settle well in my stomach, but my words made him smile and it eased my own terror slightly.

He spoke a few words in Russian, and I assumed it was the translation for mom and dad but wasn't certain. I had lots of time to find out. "We're still badass and our baby… our baby will be extraordinary." His eyes were wistful, and I could picture him imagining a little bundle wrapped in a blanket with dark hair and eyes looking up at him. And then a strigoi slayer at the age of twelve. Oh, God, I was suddenly hit with a new thought-plaguing reality: Our child will forever be in danger of death. Fuck me. Okay, maybe poor word choice considering that's _exactly_ what got me into this position.

"Hopefully it has your level-headedness," I admitted, trying to shed some light on the situation.

Dimitri chuckled, "And your wit and beauty."

"Don't forget my hair," I said teasingly.

"Of course your hair. How could I forget?" His fingers ran through it idly again, playing with the ends. It was down today – just the way he liked it.

I sighed. "So… we're having a baby."

He smiled, "We are having a baby." I felt sick again and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "We're in this together, Roza. You and me. I'll support whatever you decide."

"Me _and_ you," I pointed out. "_Our_ decisions."

He chuckled, "You've already made a few."

"Well, yeah, I'm not going to… abort our baby, but I'm not going to give up protecting Lissa, and I'm also not giving it to St. Vlad's so it can hate us like I hated my mom. I figured you'd agree with all three of those decisions."

Dimitri sighed, "I do agree. Like I said, it's going to be… a challenge, but we will figure it out. The best friend of the Queen can quite obviously get some leniency, right? Plus, the fact that we are both dhampirs means we're here together. Unlike Moroi and Dhampirs who… well, traditionally live different lives, we don't, which means we can do this together and there are plenty of resources here, at court, so that our baby won't have to be shipped off and we can both still work. I know there will be speculation, but as for rumors, we're not exactly new to them. Medical questions about the baby, assuming they believe that it's ours will be there but maybe we can see a human doctor? We can go together and make sure that everything is okay, then talk to Lissa about a reduction in your duties. In the meantime, I'll work with Christian and you can take a minor role in Lissa's guard. When you start showing, maybe we will have to leave court until the baby's born, but until we speak with Lissa, it's just speculation. She will protect you, Rose, and the baby, no matter the… implications of this. Maybe us bringing it forth now will allow others, in the future, to be able to do the same and people, like Declan, won't have to hide. With the strigoi vaccine impending, it's likely we won't be the last two dhampirs in this position in the future."

Everything he said made sense, but it still unnerved me. If dhampirs could reproduce together, it strengthened our numbers significantly – especially if the moroi were on board to fight with magic beside us _and_ the vaccine prevented anymore of us from turning strigoi. Realistically, the threat in, say, twenty years, may be minimal and the large gangs of strigoi banding together for attacks will be horrible campfire legends by then. Maybe our baby would never see front-line action. The thought was soothing to me, until I realized what it meant – I already wanted to protect something I knew nothing about. A child: _our_ child. It also occurred to me while my mind was thinking the worst and thinking up new impossible scenarios, he had been trying to fix them, of course. "Okay, so bypass my career, my age, speculation that I'm whoring myself around again, and the baby's genetic make-up, how in the world am I going to care for a baby?"

Dimitri chuckled despite my crass language. "Intuition."

"What?"

"Mother's intuition."

"Not sure all mother's have that, comrade," I said easily. "Yours did, but mine certainly didn't."

Wanting to protect our baby meant nothing in comparison to feeding a child, changing diapers, and providing enough love. My attention now with Dimitri and my Guardian duties was always split – how could it be further divided with a baby?

"You've made amends with her, and now stand in her shoes, in admittedly, a much better situation, and you still think she was a bad mother?"

Another Zen lesson. Ugh.

"No… it's not that I think she was a bad mother," I sighed. "I just wish she had been a better mother – the mother she is now, for the first seventeen years of my life. It wouldn't have killed her to check-in every now and then."

"Do you think that her decision was easy? That maybe, checking in on you hurt her because it reminded her of something that had been difficult for her? Something that was always difficult for her – giving you up?"

"Do you know something I don't, because I think she was just busy trying to build up her reputation. A simple e-mail couldn't have been that upsetting." Though, as I pondered his words, I remembered my mother in my dorm room before Mason died – looking around, intrigued in finding out who her daughter really was despite her unruly reputation. The wall she had always put up around me had been to protect herself, I realized – to avoid regretting her decision and feeling bad when faced with me. To try to convince herself that she had done the right thing.

"You have the opportunity to not repeat history," he said levelly. "And I think you'll be a great mom."

Mom. The word made a chill go up my spine. I was too young for this – too inexperienced with children and what a positive mother/child relationship looked like in my career path. Mother's either left guardianship to look after their children or dropped them off at the academy to raise – Mason's mom had done both. When he was old enough, she had enrolled him in St. Vlad's, but also had taken motherhood in stride and gave up her own destiny at being a guardian. I wouldn't do that, but I wasn't sure what other accommodations that Dimitri spoke of were at court so that I could, so to speak, have my cake and eat it too – if you wanted to compare motherhood and guardian duties to cake.

"Okay," Dimitri said, realizing his words now were now falling on deaf ears. "If you need to rationalize this right now, I can tell the other's you're not feeling well and we can go talk, but Rose? We're not going to figure this out in a day. This… it's a life changing thing. We just must take it day by day. Conversation by conversation. We can talk about this all day; I can give you best case scenarios and amuse your worst-case ones, but you won't get the answers you're looking for in this bathroom. You need to take time, digest this information, and then we need to have some difficult conversations and once we do that, and have more information to go on, then we can focus on figuring all of this out."

I knew he was right, and I sighed, leaning into his frame again as he hugged me tightly. "Let's go back with the others. We can talk to Lissa tomorrow, after the party."

When I pulled back, he leaned down to kiss me and I returned the passion behind his lips easily. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck and he surprised me when he picked me up, sitting me on the counter behind me so our heights were a little more leveled. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, my legs parted as he stood in between them, our bodies tight and close. I felt a soft moan build in the back of my throat and as his hands slid up my sides, resting on my ribs, it released, muffled by his lips and the sound sobered him and allowed him to pull back, resting his forehead on mine.

"Я люблю тебя," he whispered.

I knew what this meant – I love you, though he still hadn't taught me to curse in Russian. Little victories. "I love you, too," I replied easily. "And our baby." The words felt foreign, but I knew it was true; anything he and I created together was too pure and too beautiful not to love, even this - even though I was scared.

Dimitri's hands moved down from my rib cage and toward my belly. It looked the exact same. Minus the intense nausea from the past two days, there was no other indication of anything different, but as his fingers fanned out over my flat stomach, it caused my heart to flutter – the look on his face was full of admiration, adoration, and full of love. It was something that, when he had been restored, I feared I would never see again, and I felt more tears well in my eyes – stupid pregnancy hormones.

"See? There's still so much beauty in the world."

He crashed his lips back to mine again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

When we emerged from the bathroom, Sonya gave me a small, knowing smile - one I tried to return. Everyone continued to ask if I was okay, and I brushed them off, assuring them that I was. The shock continued to poor into me as Lissa spoke about the night's festivities. When a waiter came by, she politely asked if he could fetch some champagne to get the party started. Dimitri stayed by me the entire time, holding my hand, his strength and happiness soothing my desire to bolt and curl up on our bed and cry. My emotions were all over the place – thanks, baby.

Eddie came over by me, Jill and Lissa talking in the corner, and I found my voice again. "So, how's Maine?"

He shrugged, "Alright. I mean, I miss you and everyone here, especially Jill, but we visit enough that we're able to make it work. We're not that far, you should come visit someday."

The idea for a mini break from court – and my problems, sounded great right now. "I'll take you up on it. Maybe Dimitri and I can get some time off and come visit?"

"I'd love that," Eddie said honestly. "Think you'd take Jill with you?"

I nodded, "I don't see why not. I'll talk to Adrian about it. I don't want to intrude. We'll stay in a hotel, of course-"

"Don't be silly. Adrian's house has so many rooms. It's more like a mini castle. Plus, I'm sure Jill would love to spend some time with Adrian."

"You mean stay with you," I teased.

"We're slow moving," Eddie chuckled. "As we both want it. If she stays with us, she'll have her own room."

"She won't be a teenager forever," I pointed out. "I mean, I lost my virginity at seventeen-"

"Seventeen?" Eddie asked, faking shock. "The infamous Rose Hathaway with all of her lovers lost it at _seventeen_. I remember before you left, what were we, fifteen? You said you hooked-up with some senior and lost it. Mason was devastated," he teased.

Mason's name caught me off guard, and I smiled sadly. I wasn't usually one to shy away from sex talk, but Dimitri's concern for privacy had guarded me from speaking about our intimate life in detail. It wasn't just me that I had to think about – and he was seven years older and less inclined to gossip about such matters. "I've only been with Dimitri," I admitted.

Eddie's brow furrowed. "Before you were eighteen, before you left the academy," he pieced together.

"Well, as far as my mom knows, I was eighteen, so we'll stick with that, 'k?"

Eddie chuckled, "Your secret is safe with me, Hathaway. Or should I start calling you Mrs. Belikov? When's this big wedding happening?"

I laughed, "No, Hathaway is perfectly fine – and I don't know, we have to set a date."

"Well, hurry and pick one quick. I'm willing to bet Christian's just waiting until you tie the knot to ask Lissa."

"Really?"

Eddie shrugged, "Probably."

"We have a lot to figure out," I said idly, looking over to Dimitri who had caught my gaze while talking to Alberta.

"'Nah," Eddie said. "Lissa will do most of the work, or well, arrange it. You just have to show up."

Suddenly, the thought of _only_ planning a wedding was ten times less scary than before. If only that was my only problem right now. I forced a smile and nodded agreeably as Lissa called everyone together. During our hangout, the decorators had hung a beautiful crystal chandelier in the middle of the room, strung small, white string lights from it to the edge of the room in every direction possible, ensured the lighting and sound was up to par, and started setting the dinner tables.

I realized the waiter from earlier was going around with glasses that were full of champagne and he went around to everyone as Lissa called a toast. I was about to take a glass to forget about everything, when Dimitri took my hand tightly and looked down at me disapprovingly.

Shit. Pregnancy.

No alcohol.

Oh, fuck. Could this get any worse? Not that I drank often, but well, suddenly, today most definitely felt like a drinking occasion.

"No thank you," I said finally as the waiter went by me, Lissa giving me a weird look.

Hopefully I could play it up to my nauseous stomach, but I knew this conversation had to happen sooner rather than later. I gave her a reassuring smile and she raised her glass.

"To friends, who are more like family, and a really, really fun time tonight. Let's get super drunk and make memories, like we used to before… well, before we grew up."

Everyone clinked glasses together, and I was glad Dimitri had refused his drink, too, so I wasn't the only one standing out.

"Do you want to pre-drink in our suite?" Lissa asked everyone.

Adrian agreed, but Sydney decided to go back with Daniella and Declan until the party. Eddie, inclined to follow Adrian, went, in addition to Jill who wanted to follow Eddie and Sonya came over, putting a hand on my arm. "You're blessed, child," she said softly. "Remember that."

I felt sick again, the true reality hitting me, and as Lissa approached, I did my best to give her a confident smile so she wouldn't worry about me today, but I had a feeling by the look on her face, that I had failed. "Come on, a few tequila's will straighten your stomach out. We haven't gotten drunk together since… Jeez, it's been forever. Tonight is the perfect time."

Well, yeah, it would have been, less than a day ago at least when I was still ignorant about incubating a child. "I'm really not feeling well, Liss. I'll be there tonight, I promise, but I think I'm going to lay down. I'll probably visit the clinic and see if they can give me anything." Well, not really, but I didn't want her to worry and I wasn't ready to tell her yet and ruin her party.

She frowned but nodded and hugged me. "Fine, but we're celebrating tonight, so get some rest and take some medicine."

I frowned as everyone left, Dimitri and I – along with the twenty or so decorator and caters, alone in the throne room. "C'mon, you should rest."

"I swear," I said, hoping it sounded braver than I felt. "If you worry about me constantly for the next… however many months, you'll have to commit me because I'll lose my mind."

He chuckled and started walking with me, hand in hand, out the doors and back to our suite. "I won't hover," he promised. "But as soon as Lissa knows, we need to find a doctor to check you out."

"You do a pretty good job checking me out already, comrade," I grinned.

He chuckled, "Unfortunately my specialty seems to lie within initiating the pregnancy – not the upkeep."

"Monday we can go," I promised. "I'm off and we can go before your night shift starts. That leaves only tomorrow to tell Lissa and Christian."

"See? Baby steps," he squeezed my hand and we walked back in silence to our room. When we got there, I still felt strange – like an out of body experience. Dimitri led me to the bed, and I laid back, sighing.

"Am I going to be able to enjoy food through-out this thing or is my stomach going to be too preoccupied trying to create life that it forgets that I need food for sustenance?"

Dimitri chuckled, "Crackers are good for morning sickness. If it's bad, we can see about some medication to help, but lots of water, crackers, ginger, and try small meals. I'll go out later and pick some up. When we go out Monday, we'll get you a prenatal, too. They may help with the nausea, too, and help the baby's development."

"Woah, okay, were did you get your medical degree from? I thought your only extracurricular activity besides, well, me, was your Wild West fantasies?"

"My sisters and their pregnancies," he mused, ignoring my taunt. "You're not the first dhampir to get pregnant, Rose."

"Maybe not," I sighed as he sat beside me. "Probably the first previously shadow kissed dhampir who's with another dhampir that's restored and a Queen's Guardian, though. And who clearly doesn't know how to use birth control despite my best efforts."

An amused look crossed Dimitri's face and he leaned down, kissing my forehead. "Maybe, yes, but pregnancy is pretty standard despite the circumstances. Get some rest. I'll wake you up in time for you to get ready for the party."

He got up and turned the light off, and I rolled onto my back, looking down as I gingerly pulled my tank top up, revealing my stomach. As I said before, it looked the same, but well, it felt different looking at it – knowing there was a human inside, or cells, or whatever it looked like so far. My and Dimitri's cells. The sick feeling faded, replaced by tremendous love. This baby, although scary, was a part of Dimitri, and nothing – absolutely nothing, in the world that was a part of him was any less than extraordinary. Dimitri hovered by the door, watching me, and I pulled my shirt back down. "Comrade?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"How about we finish what we started in that bathroom instead…."

He hesitated by the door before coming back to the bed and laying down on his side. I turned on my side to face him, and I kissed him passionately. He returned the kiss easily, and as his hand immediately went to my stomach, I paused and pulled back. "Is sex okay… I mean, after all, it's what got us into this mess to begin with."

"Yes, Roza," he breathed. "As long as you're feeling up to it, sex is fine." I flushed, and he pulled me close.

"Good, because I'm not abstaining for the next nine months. I can handle forgoing alcohol, but sex? When my fiancée is so devastatingly handsome and hot? Not a chance."

Dimitri grinned, and a smile crept up onto my lips, too, before his met mine again, any ill feelings toward the pregnancy now gone as he quickly got rid of my shirt and caressed my stomach before I got his shirt off, our clothing piling up on the floor beside us, as we merged into one.

Or, well… three?

This was weird, but I was sure it was about to get a lot weirder.

Regardless, it felt the same as normal, expect there was an unspoken fierceness behind Dimitri's movements – as though, for the first time, he had _everything_ he wanted, right in front of him. 


End file.
